cheerfire | you'll be with me until the sun shines through the night

Entry tags:

the growing up together timeline

you'll be with me until the sun shines through the night

[On the first day of Kindergarten, Chrissy cries when her parents leave her. She's never been away from them before, and is terrified. She tries to cry as quietly as possible, and hides under one of the big circle tables so the teacher won't be angry at her for crying. Her mother always gets mad at her when she cries. She thinks she might be forgotten under there when eventually a boy crawls under and hands over a wooden block.

He doesn't say anything but goes back to the tower he's building. She ends up curiously watching him, and crawls out from under the table to hurry over and help him. When the tower gets taller than she is, he pulls her back and knocks it over with a big kick. She laughs, even as the loud noise makes her jump and scurry to hide behind him.

He says his name is Edward, but he likes to be called Eddie. She's still too shy to say her name, but follows along after him when the teacher says it's time to sit on the carpet. Chrissy sits at his side for the entire story, and waits until he stands up before she does too. They're told to find their names at their seats, and Chrissy is dismayed when teacher makes her sit at her table. Eddie is on the other side of the room. And she has to sit next to someone named Jason instead. He likes to talk about all the toys he has, and how good he is at basketball. Chrissy stares over at Eddie in a panic, and is incredibly grateful when it's time to play outside.

It's when they're outside that Eddie tells her it's his second year in Kindergarten. She thinks that's really cool, especially since he knows the way this whole school thing works. They spend the entire recess pretending he's a dragon and she's a princess, and for the first time all day Chrissy can't stop laughing and smiling. When they have to go back inside though, Jason grabs her by the hand and tells her to stay by him instead. She turns and looks at Eddie with scared eyes as she's drug away.

But later that afternoon, after a stressful lunch where Chrissy didn't dare do anything but pick at her food, they're able to have free play choices in the classroom. The teacher has noticed her flocking toward Eddie and suggests she try playing with a girl named Robin instead. She's really funny and nice, and Chrissy gets wrapped up in playing with instruments together. But when she hears Jason yell that someone's a freak, she looks over to see him being mean to Eddie.

She's a good girl, one that doesn't want to get into trouble. But she still marches over and uses both hands to shove Jason over. Chrissy takes Eddie by the hand right after, and she runs them over to hide behind the puppet theater in the corner of the room. The teacher manages to find them pretty quickly, and the second she's scolded for pushing someone, Chrissy breaks down into tears. The teacher takes her by the hand and sits her out at the table, and she sits there and sobs. She doesn't stop even when Eddie sits down beside her and pats at her shoulder. Getting in trouble on the first day of school is the worst thing that's ever happened to her.]

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[ Another year of kindergarten really isn't so bad. At least, he's at an age where none of them really think about it, and there's a small handful of other kids in the same situation. Most of the other kids are only repeating because their birthdays fall at funny times in the year, and not because they have a tendency of "acting out". Eddie's never really understood that, no matter how many times the teacher has repeated it. He doesn't try to be bad, it just seems like no matter what he does he's getting the stink eye from somebody.

Eddie has always been something of a wild child, even before he could understand why his mom cried all the time, why his dad was rarely home. If anything, kindergarten is his happy place in comparison. Where he can run, and yell, and play, and the most trouble he gets in is the teacher putting him in timeout. He can live with that.

But it doesn't seem like his new classmate Chrissy feels quite the same way about timeouts. He thought the way she pushed that kid was totally cool, even if their teacher was not in agreement. He's quick to follow her to the timeout table, his curly mop of hair bouncing behind him. ]

It's okay, don't cry. [ A timeout veteran, Eddie thinks he should know. He pats her arm with a certain seriousness, as though trying to impart all the wisdom one year of kindergarten has garnered him. ] They don't even tell your parents the first time!

Edited (i was in tfln mode) 2022-08-06 00:19 (UTC)

[That's enough to get her to stop sniffling and sobbing long enough to look over at him. He's so nice that she doesn't really think anything of leaning over to hug him.]

My name is Chrissy.

[She finally feels brave enough to share her name, even though the teacher's said it a few times today and he probably already knows it. But she wants to be the one to tell him.]

Will you be my friend?

[The one thing she was so worried about today was not having a friend. But Eddie is a good friend. He's funny and he's brave and he's good at making her feel safe and brave. It doesn't matter if her parents have ditched her here with the teacher that probably doesn't like her. It'll be okay as long as Eddie's here. ]

[ Eddie has plenty of friends. Sure, most of them have moved on to the first grade, but they're still at a stage where most of peers don't care about strange behavior. And yet, when Chrissy asks him to be friends, it makes sunshine burst out of him from the inside out. ]

Of course I will!

[ He shouts it out, still years away from finding his indoor voice. Everything about him is loud, unfettered. Their teacher, and most of their classmates, turn to look in their direction at his sudden outburst. Once they see it's only Eddie being Eddie, they go back about their business. ]

I'm Eddie. But don't call me Edward, okay? I really hate that.

[Names are serious business when you're five. So Chrissy nods as she leans back, holding up her hand like she's making a promise.]

Okay, Eddie. I promise.

[It's just in time for the teacher to come by and tell her that she can get up to play, but she can't put her hands on anyone else. Chrissy takes that to mean she can't touch anyone for any reason, and when she and Eddie play play dough, she's very careful to avoid touching him.

But when it's time for nap near the end of the day, she chooses to put her mat right beside his. And when Eddie rolls over onto his side to talk to her in whispers, and Eddie chooses to teach her how to thumb wrestle, she doesn't pull away. Neither of them get into trouble, and she falls asleep with a smile on her face.

Over the course of the school year, they grow close. Eddie is her best friend, and they've developed a dynamic that makes every teacher at school smile in their direction. She's shy unless she's with him, and then she seems to come out of her shell. She giggles and talks, and even screams when playing outside with him. And he keeps her safe, not letting anyone mess with her. She helps him with memorizing his letters and numbers, and even tries teaching him how to read as she starts to pick up how. They spend most of their free choice time huddled together in the classroom library, Chrissy reading him books.

Fall gives way to winter, which eventually warms into spring. By that point, the two are completely inseparable. Which makes her all the more distressed one day on the playground, when Jason tells her that she better make new friends. Because school will be over soon, and there's no way Eddie's going to first grade with them. It's the first time she's ever realized that she won't get to see him once school's over.

Eddie's pushing her on a swing, trying to cheer her up. But she scoots over and lets him sit next to her and they just barely move back and forth.]

Maybe you can come over to my house to play.

[ Edie has lots of friends. But none of them are like Chrissy, none of them make his whole body light up in a way he is years and years from understanding. She's just nice, in a way the rest of them aren't. Even when he does stupid things, like hang from the monkey bars from his knees, she's always the one in his corner, cheering and clapping her hands.

For as much as he's helped bring Chrissy out of her shell, she has helped him in return. She's helped him be quiet when it's time to pay attention, helped him with his letters and numbers. Even with everything he has going on back home, Chrissy gives him something to focus on when he comes to kindergarten. It no longer seems fun to stay in kindergarten forever. If Chrissy is going to first grade, he wants to make sure he goes too. ]

Really? [ He's scrambled eagerly into the swing beside her, their legs kicking in a discordant rhythm. ] Yeah, I wanna see your house!

[ He wants to see any house, really, wants to know what it's like to live in a big place where everyone gets their own bedroom. ]

[And so Chrissy goes home and begs her mom to let Eddie come over to play. She's so excited when she agrees, even agreeing to let her friend stay for dinner. And really, the day is perfect. She excitedly takes Eddie all around her house, laughing when he seems just as excited as she is at some of the rooms. Her room is her favorite place, and he seems to like it too. It doesn't matter if it's filled with girl toys he probably has no interest in.

He plays with her dollhouse with her, lets her teach him some ballet on the ballet bar mounted on her wall, and even lets her dress him up in her princess clothes. They're sitting down to a tea party at the small table in her room with her stuffed bear and stuffed tiger, Chrissy giggling like crazy as he acts silly just to make her laugh.]

You have to pretend to drink it, Eddie! [She pretends to pour him another cup.] Like this.

[And then she models how to drink it, pinkie up.]

[ Normally, girl games would be extremely boring. Girls like to play house, where boys like to tramp through everything without a care in the world. But it's different when he's invited over to Chrissy's house. Everything here is so clean, and he can't help but feel like some weird outsider. Her house is meant for fancy dolls and tea parties, and that isn't where he belongs at all. ]

Okay, I am! [ He doesn't like being accused of playing the wrong way, so he tries to match her as he raises the tiny pink plastic tea cup to his face. He slurps loudly from the little cup, as though it were completely full. ] So good!

[ There's nothing for him to pretend is tasty, but he does his best to be a proper gentleman in the moment. Chrissy has invited him for a tea party, and that means something, even if the only other attendants are her dolls and stuffed bears. ]

Chrissy, this is boring. Can't the tea party have ghosts or something in it?

[Her smile abruptly fades to a concerned frown, her eyes going wide as she looks over at him. Does he think she's boring? Are her games bad? This is what her mom says good girls should play. Good girls take ballet class and practice hard before they get their celery for a snack. Good girls dress up and have tea parties and keep their dolls organized on shelves.

She wrestles with the idea that maybe Eddie thinks she's boring, while also wondering why her mom would tell her those things are what she's supposed to play when Eddie thinks they're boring. He's a boy, yeah, but he likes everything they play at school.]

Okay. We can be the ghosts!

[Eventually she agrees, setting her little porcelain teacup on the table. And with a very soft ghost sound, she hits her hand across the table to send her entire tea set flying. She looks to him to watch to see if he thinks it's funny before she laughs.]

We can?

[ His voice bubbles out in a laugh, thrilled by the idea that they can pretend to be ghosts. Chrissy takes to it surprisingly well, sending all the plastic bits flying. Eddie laughs and claps his hands together, completely transfixed by the sight. He isn't sure if this is exactly what she likes, but he's too caught up in everything to care otherwise. Instead, he's imagining an evil ghost in her house, interrupting their tea party. ]

Watch out! [ Eddie raises his hands over his head, trying to make his voice spooky. ] I'm the voice of the tea party ghosts! I'm going to drink all your tea!

[ The two of them clamor around the room, crying out their ghostly intentions. In the end, they become a heap of giggles and thrashing limbs, unsure of where one ghost story ends or begins. ]

[Their shouting and laughing combined with the sound of toys flying all around earns the attention of her mother. It's while they're rolling on the floor with laughter that she steps into the room and doesn't sound very happy when she shouts Chrissy's name.]

Chrissy Elizabeth Cunningham! What in god's name are you doing with that boy?

[The way her mother says it makes it clear that she thinks Chrissy is only acting like this because of Eddie's influence. She's quick to sit up, but it's not fast enough. Chrissy's tugged up to her feet while her mother reminds her that good girls play quietly. Good girls aren't rough. Girls that act like boys will never be pretty. Pretty girls wear their dresses without rolling around on the floor.

Every time her mother says something, Chrissy frowns deeper and deeper. Yes, mommy. She answers, head bowing. In the end, she says Eddie has to go home. And she doesn't let her go downstairs to say goodbye or wait for him to be picked up. She has to stay up in her room and clean it all back to perfect condition.

She's grateful when at school the following week, they can play ghosts outside on the playground and kick over block towers, and poke their paintbrush with red paint on each other's faces without getting into trouble.

Kindergarten eventually comes to an end, and Chrissy doesn't realize she won't see Eddie for the entire summer until after it's already been a couple of weeks. Her mother promises she won't ever see "that boy" again, and Chrissy cries herself to sleep every night.

That's the summer that Chrissy becomes a hungry child. It's when her mother decides that she's old enough to start watching what she eats, because Chrissy is starting to get a little gangly and "ugly" as her teeth start falling out. She's hungry for food as her snacks are taken away first, then the portions of her meals reduced. And she's hungry for love as her father works all the time, and her mother wants nothing to do with her unless it's to make her a pretty, perfect little girl.

When school starts again, she's so excited to see Eddie that she literally tackles him with a big hug. They don't have the same teacher this year, and she's dismayed over that. But they get to eat lunch with one another, and get to have recess together. And that's the best hour of every day.

That school year is uneventful, as is the next two where they don't share a class in second or third grade either. They still eat lunch with each other as often as they can, and play with each other outside every day. Sometimes he brings out his homework and she helps him, and by the end of third grade she's able to use the lie of staying after to help her teacher in order to hang with him outside after school.

But in the fourth grade they're lucky, and finally have the same teacher again. They're older now, Chrissy gone past being a hungry child and into a fully starved little girl. She's skin and bones, gangly and with crooked teeth that have grown into a mouth that's too small to handle them. Her mother is ecstatic that Jason Carver is in her class this year, the same as every other year. She keeps telling Chrissy to be sure to always sit near him, to try and be a good girl for him.

She's still young enough that she doesn't really understand why she'd want to do that. But she's at the age where she definitely notices things at nine years old like the way her heart beats a little faster and her entire body feels warm when Eddie chooses her to be his table partner on the first day of school. She notices the fact that his lips are full and he smiles when he thinks she isn't looking at him. But he's definitely looking at her. He's always looking at her, even when she's laughing at other people's jokes. Every time that happens, he always goes above and beyond to earn her attention and her laughter again, and they quickly press their heads close together to laugh and talk while they do their classwork.

At lunch though, Chrissy's starting to worry. Things aren't great for Eddie at home. He's told her about it, and she isn't sure how to help him. He doesn't come with a lunch anymore. And the school doesn't seem to care. So she gives him her lunch, what little her mother sends her with going entirely to him. But she's done it so often now that she's noticed him looking at her with something close to worry. He's a year or two older than her, and there's things he's able to pick up on that sometimes she wishes he wouldn't.

Her being forced into hunger is one of them. Even at nine, she remembers from her mom's berating her that pretty girls don't make boys worry about them. They should always seem and look perfect, so they're not a bother.]

Maybe I can bring two sandwiches tomorrow.

[She says to try and cut off any of his worry.]

My mom might say yes.

[ Quite frankly, Eddie doesn't understand. He thinks that mommies and daddies are made to fight, to yell at each other, and then to tell their kids that it isn't that serious. It makes concentrating school difficult, but he pushes through, does his homework the best he can manage. He doesn't want to be left behind anymore, at least not when his friend Chrissy keeps pushing forward. Now they're in fourth grade, sharing lunches, whispering about the things that keep them up at night. Chrissy's family is rich, he realizes, doesn't share the same struggles that his own family does. That doesn't mean she doesn't struggle.

The first time she had offered her lunch over, Eddie had pounced on it without any questions asked. When he was lucky, he got a plastic baggie filled with slices of bread and cigarettes. By the third or fourth time Chrissy had slid her lunch over to him, it was hard not to notice that something was wrong. He was a hungry child, in a different way than she was. Eddie had dug into every lunch she had passed to him without question, until one day the whole exchange had seemed wrong. ]

If your mom packed you two sandwiches, do you think you'd eat one?

[ He asks that even as he stuffs her lunch into his mouth. Something about this seems wrong, even if he can't put it into words. Eddie wipes crumbs from his mouth with his sleeve, watching her carefully. ]

You never eat, Chrissy. Isn't that weird?

[He's a boy. It's okay for him to eat a lot. So he doesn't need to be hungry. Her parents let her little brother eat whatever he wants, and she's always told that it's because he's a boy. So she uses that logic with Eddie, but she knows that he doesn't have food at home. And he can't live without eating. She at least has a full fridge and pantry at home, even if she's not allowed to get into it by herself. She gets something.

She's old enough to realize now that Eddie has nothing. And she wants to take care of him as best as she can.

But the way he's looking at her makes her cheeks turn pink and she squirms in her seat. Every other girl in the cafeteria is eating and laughing and talking. It's the first time that she makes the effort to put on a big smile and try to make Eddie think that nothing's wrong.]

It's not that weird, is it? I'm not really hungry. [A lie.]

Here, you forgot my milk.

[She takes that out of her lunchbox and passes it over to him.]

[ It's a difficult situation to deal with. Because her thought is right, he doesn't get much at home. A good lunch for him is one that's filled with gum and cigarette butts. At least then he can chew on the gum and not think about how hungry he is. It's hard to remember the fact that Chrissy is hungry too every time she offers her sandwich to him. Maybe someday he'll think better of it, but for now he digs into her lunch with reckless abandon. ]

Are you sure?

[ Because he thinks all kids are hungry, because they're all running and jumping, and Chrissy is no exception. If anything, she seems to push herself on the playground more than anyone else in their class. Despite what should make her hungry, she pushes her lunch towards him almost every day without fail. And he's too hungry to argue. ]

Chrissy, this is weird! [ He says as much even as her lunch still clings to his lips. ] We should both get to have lunch.

[The next day, Chrissy starts bringing her piggy bank money that she's supposed to be saving. She buys a hot tray lunch for them both to share, and she makes sure that he has most of it but she picks at and eats enough that he won't worry about her. And every day, she puts her brown sack lunch into his backpack so he'll have something to eat at night.

She goes out of her way to not worry him for the rest of the year. She smiles more, plays and runs around more than anyone else at recess. She really tries to seem happy, and like she's not hungry anymore.

It's on Valentine's Day during the class party that Chrissy hands out handmade Valentines to everyone. But Eddie gets an entire stack snuck into his valentine box, because Chrissy isn't sure that anyone else would give him one. Later that afternoon when he suggests looking through their cards while they're hanging out after school, she asks him to walk her home instead. Her mother's gift to her is saying Chrissy needs to exercise more often, and walking home is the best way to do that until she gets things under control.

Eddie probably needs to ride the bus to wherever he lives. No one comes to pick him up. So she feels selfish asking him to walk with her. But this is her first time walking home, and she's a little nervous to do it alone.]

Do you miss your mom?

[The question comes out of the blue, and Chrissy hopes he doesn't think it's a mean one.]

[ Walking Chrissy home comes as a relief. Ever since his mom left, his dad only seems to get meaner and meaner with each passing day. He hasn't laid a finger on the boy, but that doesn't stop him from screaming, throwing things, slamming his fist into the wall. All of it scares Eddie, and he's happy to have any excuse to get away. He isn't even sure his dad will notice he's not home when he's supposed to be. ]

Um, I guess so.

[ Eddie stares down at his sneakers as he answers, already too small but he's unlikely to get new ones any time soon. He doesn't tell her that it's all he thinks about at night, when he curls himself into a tiny ball beneath the covers. Doesn't tell her that he cries until his eyes burn and wonders why she left him behind. ]

That skank just ran off.

[ The words have been repeated by his father nonstop, usually yelled, but there had also been a time when he swore he saw his dad crying. Eddie repeats them with the sort of innocence only a child can manage, unsure of what a 'skank' even is. He can only assume it's something bad, because most of the words his dad uses are bad. ]

[Chrissy's never heard that word before. And she also never knew moms could just run off. She's heard other people talking about Eddie's mom. They say things like his dad's a deadbeat drunk that will only end up in prison. They say that his mom left because Eddie is such a bad kid. Anytime she hears someone saying that, she yells at them and tells them that if she were his mom she'd never leave him.

But she doesn't really get the whole skank thing. It doesn't process for, her but she doesn't want to look stupid in front of him so she quickly nods her head in understanding.

They get to a stop sign where they'll need to cross the street, and Chrissy reaches out to grab his hand. She's nervous about crossing such a big and busy one. But she feels safe with him there. It's while she's waiting for some cars to finish going past that she asks him something else.]

Is that why your shoes are the same ones as last year? My mom buys all the things for our house.

[It makes sense. And Chrissy makes a note to try and use some of her Christmas money from her grandmother to buy Eddie a new pair of shoes.]

My dad says I don't need new ones.

[ And what choice does Eddie have but to believe him? Even though they pinch his toes and are just barely held together, it's not like he has a choice. Shoes cost money, which Eddie definitely doesn't have. There's no birthday or Christmas money in the Munson household. His uncle sent him money once, in a fancy card and everything, but Eddie's dad had taken it to put into a "savings account".

At least temporarily, he forgets about his shoes, because Chrissy is clinging to his hand. Even at this age, he feels a little flustered by the whole thing. A pleasant shade of pink spreads over his cheeks, and he looks away from her quickly, checking for cars. Definitely. He grips her tiny hand in his, finally tugging them forward once the coast is clear. Eddie takes this job of crossing the street very seriously, delivering them both safely to the other side. ]

[She lets out a sigh when he gets them across the street safely. This whole walking home thing is no joke. It's pretty dangerous! But Eddie keeps her safe, and she doesn't pull her hand away from his until she hurries on ahead to jump over each line in the cement across the sidewalk.

It's like a game, one that she tries to get him involved in. She's laughing and having a good time. But she's also trying to catch his foot next to hers to see how much bigger it is. That way she can find him new shoes all on her own.]

Hey, do you know what?

[She calls out when she realizes that method isn't going to work.]

Let's see who has a bigger foot, okay?

[ Eddie doesn't quite understand her game, but that doesn't stop him from throwing himself eagerly into it. If Chrissy wants to jump over the lines, then he will play right along. In fact, he begins to take the whole thing a little too seriously, launching himself as far as he can with every jump. This makes her ulterior motive difficult to accomplish, but Eddie is wild and laughing and able to have fun without worrying about his parents or his too small shoes. ]

Huh? [ He whips his head back to look at her, bright eyed and breathless. ] That's kind of weird.

[ But that doesn't stop him from scurrying over to do just that, pressing his ratty sneaker up against her pristine one. His is the larger by a fair few inches, as would be expected. Eddie stares down at them for a moment, before looking back up at her. ]

Ha, I win! [ And with that he's prancing away again, none the wiser. ]

[She tries her best to get a good guess on just how much bigger his foot is, but then he's declaring he won and is hurrying away. Chrissy laughs at him and makes a roaring sound, hands going up like she's a t-rex. She chases after him like she might eat him, a game they used to play together in Kindergarten.

Only now, she's the one chasing him, and she realizes it's fun to be the one that's a little wild and loud sometimes too. She chases him all the way down to the stop sign, and ends up running right into him when he stops to check both ways before crossing the street.

The collison calls her to recoil back, and she falls on her backside. Thankfully her backpack is what she falls on, and it cushions her and stops her from hitting her head. She's all giggles when it happens, and holds out both hands so he'll help pull her to her feet.]

We're almost to my street. [Just one block away.] Do you wanna come to my house for a snack?

[ When she collides against him, Eddie is quick to turn his attention to her, make sure she's alright. Girls cry a lot, he knows that, and Chrissy especially so. Of course, boys cry too, which he knows from experience. But she seems fine, and he's quick to help her back to her feet. In fact, she seems to think it's funny, which makes Eddie giggle in return. She's so weird, and he loves that about her, even now. ]

Yeah! [ A snack sounds great, he is eager for any opportunity to eat. And he bets Chrissy has good snacks, goldfish and gushers, things like that. Not stale pretzels and gross leftovers like he's used to. ] Come on, I'm hungry!

[ He grabs her hand and takes off at a near run, eager to get to her house. ]

[She's laughing and running along with him, up until they're a few houses away from hers. That's when Chrissy seems to change entirely, digging in her heels and putting a frown on her face.]

Eddie, we gotta slow down! I'm not allowed to run.

[She shakes her head, her braided pigtails swishing about and hitting her in the face because she does it so violently. The last thing she wants is for her mother to be watching out the front window and see her running and screaming. She'll be yelled at for not acting like a lady, spanked for letting the neighbors see her as anything other than a quiet and perfect little girl.]

We have to walk the rest of the way okay?

[But she still holds his hand, and she quietly leads him through the back door. Her mom is out, because the house is dimly lit and quiet. In the kitchen, right on the counter, a small plate of celery and carrot sticks have been set out with a glass of water. The frown that's been set on her face since they got in close to her house only grows deeper once she sees it.]

My brother has good snacks. But I'm not allowed to eat them.

Fine.

[ Eddie huffs and whines a bit, but slows down. It's weird that she's not allowed to run, especially when they're outside, but he doesn't question her. The fact that she still wants to hold his hand is nice, and he gapes when she leads him inside. Her house is like a castle, full of nice things, new clothes, furniture without cigarette burns. He can hardly believe she gets to live like this. ]

Huh? [ Eddie looks incredulously at the plate of vegetables. It's not what he was expecting, especially not when she says that her brother gets the good snacks. ] How come he gets different snacks?

[ He's got one of the carrot sticks in his hand, rolling it between his fingers. His gaze turns mischievously to the rest of the kitchen, trying to guess which cupboards hold the good stuff. ]

Mommy just says I can't eat things like that. I'm not allowed to.

[Chrissy shrugs, but goes over to the pantry and swings open the door. She points once the door is open, right up to the top shelf. Where sure enough, all kinds of sugary good snacks are.]

We gotta be careful not to move anything else. Okay?

[She isn't going to say that her butt would get spanked if her mom thought she was sneaking snacks. Or that she'd probably be sent to bed without dinner for breaking a big rule. But she wants Eddie to have a snack. So she goes over to the dining table and starts to drag over one of the chairs, huffing a little as she tries dragging it to the pantry so he can climb up and take what he wants.]

Don't worry, I'm good at being sneaky.

[ That much is true. When his dad finally passes out for the night, Eddie sneaks around their trailer, putting together what dinner he can manage. Waking his dad up would be very, very bad, and so he has become accustom to creeping around, unheard and unnoticed.

Eddie moves to help her with the chair, and it's much easier with the two of them working together. He's quick to hop up once they've got it into position, his eyes going wide at the sight of so much food in one place. As promised, Eddie is careful about leaving things largely undisturbed. When he hops down, he's got an armful of various snacks, looking delighted. ]

I got us lots of good stuff. Your mom won't notice, trust me.

[Chrissy isn't so sure. Her mom notices everything. She even notices when Chrissy comes home and her hair is a little messed up. But she nods anyway, because she doesn't want to look like a crybaby in front of Eddie.]

Go upstairs to my room, okay?

[It stands out pretty easily, the only one with a girlish sign that has her name on it. While he's running upstairs to hide with their loot, she's pushing the chair back to the table and is putting it back exactly how she find it. The pantry door is closed and she opens the fridge to grab a couple of Hi-C juice boxes. She grabs her plate of vegetables before running upstairs to join him.

All of her little girl toys from when he had come over back in Kindergarten are gone now. There's not much of a trace of a little girl existing inside this room at all, apart from the stuffed animals on her bed.

They wind up eating sitting on the floor, hiding on the side of her bed. He gets her to give up on eating her vegetables, and they share all the junk food she can eat. Which isn't very much, but it's enough to make her giggly and full. She wants him to have most of it anyway.]

[ Eddie nods dutifully, hurrying up the stairs to her room. He spreads their loot across her bed, organizing their snacks until she joins him. It's a small feast they've gathered for themselves, and for as hungry as he is, it makes him even happier to see her eat them. There's something very weird going on at her house, and though he doesn't have a name for it, he knows that something is wrong. It's a different kind of wrong compared to his own household, and it makes him feel nervous.

But Chrissy's room is nice, comfortable, and once they start sharing crackers and cookies, he's able to stop thinking about it. Once all that's left is crumbs and a few shiny wrappers, Eddie is feeling full and content. He sweeps all the remnants into his backpack, and the two of them search for every crumb to make sure they gotten things cleaned up. He would never normally care about making sure he's left a place spotless, but Chrissy seems especially concerned. ]

Your mom sounds really weird. [ He admits it quietly once they've got the last remnants swept away. His own mom his gone, his dad angry and belligerent, and yet Chrissy's situation completely baffles him. ] I'm sorry she only lets your brother have the good snacks.

[She's almost in tears when they finish and she sees how many wrappers and crumbs there are. And she just about begs him to take everything in his backpack to help her hide it. Only she doesn't have to ask him. He just knows to do it. And right there, in that exact moment, Chrissy Cunningham develops her first crush. She's never had anyone seem to read her mind before, especially not when it's something that would get her in big trouble later.

She's so taken by it that she can't even be embarrassed when he feels the need to apologize for her mother. Chrissy presses a kiss to his cheek, nervously giggling when she pulls away to crouch down and make sure his backpack is zipped tight.]

Mommy says that I have to be pretty. And pretty girls don't eat a lot. But that's okay. I don't mind.

[That's a lie. She minds very much. But she suddenly doesn't want Eddie to feel sorry for her.]

[ Eddie doesn't really understand why she's so upset, but he sees how much his cleaning seems to mean to her. Then she's pressed a kiss to his cheek and he flushes a bright red. His mom used to kiss him sometimes, on the cheek or the forehead, but this is different. He doesn't understand why it's different, not yet, but it makes his heart beat wild in his chest. ]

Well, I think your mom is dumb. [ He says it with a bold indignation, to young to have any real insult behind it. All he knows is Chrissy's mom makes her sad, and that's enough of a reason to not like her. ] You're the prettiest girl in the whole school.

[He thinks she's pretty? The prettiest girl in the whole school? She doesn't really know why she feels so warm and happy when he says that. But she winds up twirling one of her braided pigtails as she blushes.]

Can you walk me home again tomorrow?

[She hopes that he'll say yes.]

Yeah I can!

[ Eddie doesn't worry about how quickly or enthusiastically he answers, his eyes shining with excitement. Even if he enjoyed being home with his dad, getting to walk Chrissy home would seem a much better prospect. And so they continue their little ritual together. Sometimes they sneak snacks from the pantry, other times they find their way to playgrounds, inventing make believe stories to play out, both of them trying to imagine their way out of the scary things at home. It's a wonderfully happy time, and Eddie finds himself watching the clock at the end of each school day, ready for another adventure.

And then Eddie's dad gets arrested. "Larceny" is the word he hears but doesn't understand, until he learns that larceny means stealing. His dad has to go to jail, and a lady who says she's a social worker shows up at their trailer to try and figure out what to do with them. He hears her talk about getting in touch with his mom, hears words like "foster care" and "system". All of it sounds scary to him, and for as much as living with his dad is difficult, sometimes impossible, he doesn't want to live anywhere else.

That's why he's packed what he's deemed as essentials. A few extra t shirts, some snacks, his favorite book-- The Hobbit, all tucked into his shabby black backpack. It's a warm Saturday afternoon when he slings it over his shoulders and hits the pavement, determined to find somewhere, anywhere else for him to be. To get away before they can get him. Inevitably, his feet bring him to Chrissy's street, and he finds himself pacing up and down her block. In a perfect world, Chrissy's parents would be the kind from fairytales, that take him in as their own. But he knows that her mom is strange and a little scary, and her dad-- well he doesn't know much about him at all.

But still, he doesn't want to continue on without at least saying goodbye. Now if only he could work up the courage to approach her front door. ]

Eddie?

[Chrissy was looking longingly out of her window outside, since it's spring and warm and sunny. She wants to be out playing, but she's in trouble after her mom realized some of her brother's snacks were missing. Being confined to her room after school sucks, but she's happy to see Eddie walking back and forth on her street. ]

I got in trouble and can't come out to play.

[She calls down to him, wiping at her nose with her arm. It's obvious she's been crying, but she won't do that now that he's here. ]

Can you climb the tree?

[There's a clear path right into her room if he can manage to climb it.]

[ It's on his fifth, maybe sixth, lap around her block that he hears her, looks up and sees her leaning out a window from the side of her house. He likes that, in a way he doesn't understand, to see her calling out to him. She's like a princess in a fairytale, locked away in a tower. Eddie glances around before leaving the sidewalk to shuffle beneath her window, looking up at her. ]

I can try.

[ He's never had much inclination for anything athletic, but when Chrissy is asking, he's determined to try. The tree is easy to climb, even for his clumsy movements, and after carefully creeping across the branch that hangs by her window, he's managed to clamber his way inside. ]

You got in trouble? [ Somehow his own troubles seem smaller, or it's just nice to have something else to worry about. ] What happened?

My mom figured out I was taking the snacks. She got really mad.

[She shrugs, trying not to make a big deal about it. She wipes at her eyes a little more, before taking notice of the fact he's brought his backpack with him. Which is weird, because it's not like he's going to school or anything.]

Why do you have that?

[She points to his backpack, forgetting about her own troubles as she focuses on him. It's nice to have Eddie here. He makes being punished not that bad at all. But she thinks he makes everything better, just by being around her.]

[ A pang of guilt runs through him when he hears that. He was the one that wanted to take snacks in the first place, assured her that her mom would never catch on. And now not only has her mom found out, but she's in trouble because of it. Maybe he really was like his dad, a bad influence on those around him. Eddie frowns, suddenly looking serious. ]

You should have told her it was my fault.

[ Not that it would have made things any better, considering his visits were also largely a secret. But he can't stand the idea of her taking the blame for something that was his fault. ]

Oh, um... [ Eddie clutches at his backpack, suddenly nervous. ] My dad's going to jail, so I have to run away now.

I'd never tattle on you, Eddie.

[She whispers out the promise, shaking her head. There's a thought that maybe she shouldn't tell him about getting a spanking before being sent up to her room without dinner. He might be upset.

There's not a lot of time to think about that though, because his explanation makes her jaw drop. She stares at him, eyes filling up with tears. Eddie's her best friend. He can't just leave.

The tears start to stream down her face as she hurries over to hug him tightly.]

I'm really sorry about your dad, Eddie. Maybe he'll be home soon?

[It doesn't feel very hopeful, if he's trying to run away. She just holds him tighter as she cries. It's hard for her to figure out why, but the thought of him being gone makes her so upset she can't process it.]

But you can't go! I'll miss you.

Don't cry!

[ He's cut off by the way she flings her arms around him, and he instantly raises his own to hug her back. He clings to her, and all his desperation comes out in that hug. He wishes for so many things. That he had better parents, a better life, that his life didn't bring up things that made Chrissy cry. ]

They said he'll be back... well it won't be a long time.

[ Though at this age, any amount of time feels like forever. And when he's unsure of where he'll be living or who he'll be living with, just imagining tomorrow is scary. Eddie looks at her, and he reaches to wipe away the tears that roll down her cheeks. ]

I'm not gonna go far away. Maybe I could live in the woods or something, just somewhere that the social worker lady can't find me.

[She has to think fast, making a sound close to a whine as she shakes her head. No, she can't lose him. He's her best friend. And she doesn't know why her heart always beats faster when she's with him, but she knows she likes the way he just wiped her tears away.

Chrissy hurries to grab her backpack, and dumps all of her school things out so she can start packing.]

Okay. But I'll go with you, okay? We can run away together.

[Which seems like a very rational and amazing plan when you're nine and it feels like your entire world is about to come crumbling down around you.]

You will?

[ Eddie is briefly stunned by her response. He knows that her mom makes things hard sometimes, maybe a lot of times, but her home life still seems so lovely to him. If nothing else, it is such a departure from his own home life, he can't imagine anyone wanting to give up their life to run away with him. Even though Eddie feels well prepared-- despite the fact that he isn't-- he can't imagine someone willingly coming with him. Least of all Chrissy. And that only makes his heart soar. ]

Okay, you can come with me. [ He holds a fist out to her, his pinkie extended for a pinkie promise. ] I'll make sure you're happy, okay? We can have our own little house in the woods.

Our own house? Really?

[Chrissy sounds completely awestruck and excited as she hurries to fill her backpack with things they might need. The last thing she grabs is her stuffed tiger off her bed, which she shoves into her backpack before struggling to zip it up.

She doesn't waste much time in grabbing his hand and running back over to her window. But she hesitates before actually trying to leave.]

Can you help me climb out? I'm too scared to do it myself.

Yeah, it'll be awesome!

[ They are still young enough to believe that such a thing is possible, that they can drag together some branches and have a place to live. He watches her as she gathers up possessions to cram into a backpack. Eddie joins her at the window, peering out at the tree he was barely able to climb himself. But if Chrissy needs his help, he's determined to give it. Eddie makes his way shakily onto the branch by her window, before turning to offer a hand to her. It isn't easy, but together they slowly make their way down the tree. Eddie doesn't hesitate when he reaches to take her hand, gripping it tightly as they walk down the street. ]

I'm glad you're coming with me. [ And he really means it, despite the fact that they have no real plan. ] This is gonna be fun!

[She's still on shaky legs after climbing down that tree. It had been so scary, but Eddie kept her safe. Even now he's holding her hand as they walk. She trusts him to keep her safe. She's so excited about the idea of running away with him to have their own house that she doesn't even look back behind her at the life she's leaving behind.

All she knows is that if Eddie's going somewhere, she has to be there too.]

Yeah, lots of fun! [She laughs, swinging their arms.] Only...

[They're at the end of her street now, and he pulls her along across it and around the corner.]

Do you know where we can even find a house?

Um...

[ Eddie trails off, trying to think about what their lives in the woodPs might be. He wishes that it was as simple as them finding a house already ready and waiting for them. Even now, at the age where they are young and full of optimism, it doesn't seem likely. By himself. nothing seems to matter, but with Chrissy, everything seems different.

Eddie keeps a death grip on her hand, hesitating only when they come to the edge of the woods. ]

I think it'll be easy. [ And while he wants that to be true, he feels nothing but hesitant now. ] The forest is nice, I think.

[Surprisingly, it's Chrissy that puts on a brave face and leads the way into the forest. The trees are tall and the sunlight starts to fade away pretty quickly. But they're together, and this is an adventure.]

It's really nice, Eddie. See?

[She gasps and points over toward a couple of rabbits that are running past. In her mind, anywhere that has bunnies around has to be safe. Right? So she keeps walking, holding on tighter and tighter to his hand.

After walking aimlessly for an hour or so they wind up face to face with a giant rock that looks an awful lot like a skull. They both are stopped before it, heads tipped back enough to take it in completely.]

It's not a house but maybe we can rest here?

[ Seeing the rabbits help in a way he wouldn't have expected. It settles the funny feeling in his stomach, and makes him smile. There are all sorts of animals in the woods, and he likes animals. Part of him is still naive enough to think that the animals might help them somehow, fairytale style. After an hour of wandering they come across skull rock, and Eddie can't help but find it impossibly cool. ]

Yeah! [ He's bright and excited, squeezing her hand as he tugs her towards the sheltered area beneath the rock. Once there, he slings his backpack from his shoulders, digging through it in search of snacks. Eddie pulls out an apple and bites into it, before fishing out a second to offer it to Chrissy. ]

You want some?

[She's really hungry after not getting a snack or dinner. Nodding eagerly, she takes hold of the apple in both hands and begins to devour it. She doesn't care if she's messy right now. She's starving!

They talk about their plans from that point, which direction to keep going in. It's evening now, and the sunlight that's left is starting to fade.]

Maybe if we keep going, there's a cabin. People go camping in the woods!

[ Eddie doesn't think he should be watching her eat. He knows she has some weird feelings about it, ones that he doesn't quite understand. But she looks so happy as she bites into the apple, it's hard not to watch. His own snack is what finally gets him to pull his attention away. ]

Yeah, I think you're right!

[ He isn't sure that she's right, but he very much wants her to be. Because for all his previous bravado about running away, he's starting to get a little concerned. He had hoped it would be like one of those stories, where they find someplace beautiful to live away from cruel parents. Eddie stands and takes her hand in his, walking them both deeper into the woods.

But there isn't any cabin, and soon the sun has set and left them to wander in what moonlight manages to filter through the trees. ]

Um... there might not be any cabins out here.

[It's about at this point that Chrissy starts feeling afraid. He's holding her hand, and that helps a little, but she's starting to realize that things aren't as fun as she originally thought they would be. They're lost in the woods, and it's dark. Her feet hurt, and she's tired, and it's taking all of her effort to not ask for another break.

They walk for a little longer before she bursts into tears.]

Eddie, I want to sit down! I'm too tired to keep going.

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you'll be with me until the sun shines through the night

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