cheerfire | like ships in the night

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the ships in the night timeline

like ships in the night

[ It's hard to count the way Eddie's life has changed in just the span of a few months. He thinks he can mark the change in trajectory to one specific moment, to Chrissy Cunningham of all people asking him for a drug deal. He's used to people most would never suspect asking for drugs, but her... there had just been something different about it. His deals didn't usually involve obvious flirting, offerings of discounts, reminiscing on previous connections. But he could tell she was going through something, and it was his job to try and help. And then she had asked for something stronger. He had it, tucked away somewhere in his trailer. There was nothing surprising about him having what she was after, but what was surprising was that she was willing to go there to get it.

So he had ferried them both there in his van, had explained to her just what taking special k involved. She had tried it right there in his trailer, under his supervision, and he had made sure she was alright. Everything had been completely, or, more or less, above the board. She had leaned against him, her hands a little more free with their touches, and despite the way each had sent electricity running through him, Eddie had kept his own hands to himself.

And so they had moved on, both of them determined to finish out their final year of high school. Against all odds, they had managed to squeak over the finish line, had earned the piece of paper that declared they were at last done with Hawkins High. Eddie still can't believe it, for as much as he had proclaimed 86 would be his year, the feeling is nothing short of surreal. He's free at last, finally, and that silly piece of paper grants him a surprising amount of opportunities. He has no plans for college, but the sudden opening of avenues leaves him dizzy.

There's no celebration for his own graduation, but he's managed to be invited to Chrissy's. Her parents seem to have spared no expense, and he drifts between the party goers, a plastic solo cup clutched in his hand. Between friends and family, it's been difficult to get her attention, but at last he's managed to get the happy graduate alone. ]

Hey. [ Eddie raises his cup, a little tipsy, a lot relaxed, but somehow he can feel Jason's gaze on him, even now. ] Guess it's finally my chance to say congratulations.

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Y-yeah.

[ The word is stuttered out, and he thinks he might be actually salivating at the sight of her, with her legs now hooked over his shoulders. At this point in his life, Eddie has had plenty of experience, but something about Chrissy makes him feel like a flustered virgin. The feeling passes quickly, outweighed by the burning need to fuck her the way she deserves. His hands clutch at her hips as he positions himself, pushing inside her.

It's incredible, feels so much better than last night-- which was still amazing in its own right. Her name falls from his lips like water, some whispered, others cried out. He finds a rhythm easily, everything seems to come easy now that they've broken down that last barrier. Eddie watches her through half lidded eyes, addicted to the sight of her. Each little expression she makes, the little gasps and moans that slip past her lips, they drive him crazy in the best way. ]

[Everything last night is a blur to her this morning. There's fuzzy memories of things being fast and hard, of their desperation. It had felt good, she can recall that. But this is better, their taking it slower and really feeling one another. One of her arms is lazily draped up against her head, and her fingers tangle in her hair.

Her other hand lightly grazes against his arm the best she can in this position, though she winds up dropping her touch away and letting her palm press against her stomach instead. This isn't fucking, not like it was last night. This is something softer, even as he firmly drives his way deep inside her with each thrust.

The way he's looking at her is soft, and she knows she's looking up at him with an expression that mirrors the same love and want that he has. Their eye contact never breaks, even as she gasps and softly moans, her face contorting in pleasure. She never looks away from him, never stops letting his name fall from her lips like a reverent prayer.

If he says they can have this, that this can be theirs, she wants it. It would literally destroy her at this point not to have him, and she feels her heart break a little at the fact that she never told him that she wants this to be the rest of their forever. They've wasted so much time, and this is too good to not get to keep.

By the time they both come, they're panting and covered in sweat, their bodies tangled together as her legs slip free from over his shoulders and lay splayed open. He's halfway collapsed over her and she can't really find words to say. Nothing sounds right. Even with their shifting, he's managed to stay halfway pressed inside her, and she's reluctant to have him slip free all the way.

But he does, because of course he can't lay over her like that for long, and soon they're both laying on their sides, pressed in close together. Her foot rubs up and down along his leg as she softly kisses them, again and again until she loses herself in him for a second time that morning. Fingertips gently caress his cheek, as her other hand grazes along his side and to his chest. Her touch stops when she can feel the slightly raised outline of one of his old tattoos, one that has been there since high school.

It's then that she breaks the kiss, eyes opening to reveal an earnest and vulnerable expression. She's putting her heart on her sleeve now, and she can only hope she doesn't wind up regretting it.]

I want this, with you. I want this to be how it is every day for us.

[ Even though the air is thick, heavy with the smell of sweat and sex, it's feels absolutely perfect. All he wants to do is spend the entire day in this tiny bed with her, wrapped up together like one being. As the adrenaline begins to fade, he feels guilt twist in his stomach. None of it has to do with the idea of hurting Natalie, but that Chrissy doesn't know. He's lied to her by omission, for all he knows if he had told her about Natalie she would have told him to fuck off right there.

But he has to tell her, has to get it out in the open so they can deal with it. If Chrissy rejects him for it, then so be it. He's tired of living a lie. That doesn't make it any easier to bring up the subject, and he shifts uncomfortably beside her. ]

So do I. [ His voice is tremulous, knows that what comes next will make or break them. Eddie swallows hard, takes in a deep breath before continuing. ] Look, I haven't been fully honest with you.

[ Tears sting in the corners of his eyes, but he wills himself not to let them fall. This is his fuck up, not hers. ]

I-- I've been with someone for a little while now. She came here with me, she-- things haven't been great from the start but I-- [ He breaks off, has to take in another sharp inhale of breath. ] I'm breaking things off with her tonight. Whether you still want me or not, I mean. And if you don't, well, I get it.

[She's a little surprised to hear that he's with someone. That he's with someone and he'd be with her like this. But she isn't angry with him, though she can see why he think she might be. Her eyes avert, glancing down. And she doesn't say anything at first, only because she's trying to figure out the right thing to say. Stumbling through this on pure emotion may lead to disaster.]

I haven't been fully honest with you either.

[Her whispered admission is meek, though she knows it has no right to be. She needs to own up to her choices here.]

I've been with Jason since I came back to town. Things aren't great with us either, but I stayed because I thought he was my only choice. [Tears sting at her eyes, because she realizes how terrible that sounds. She won't judge him if he thinks she's an awful person.]

I want to be with you, Eddie. So much. I have for years. I never got over you after that night backstage, and... [A shaky sigh is given, and she feels a tear fall. Thankfully it's just one.]

I'm ending things with him tonight.

[The fact that they're both in relationships but still have chosen to be here with one another speaks volumes. They don't have to settle for someone that isn't right for them. Not anymore. They can finally be together. Can't they? Chrissy hopes they're able to get past this little bump.]

[ That moment of silence seems to stretch on forever, and Eddie prepares himself for the worst. She would be fully within her rights to reject him for his deception. But then she's speaking, and it is somehow the furthest thing from what he expected to hear. He can see her eyes going glassy with water. Despite all this, Eddie laughs. It isn't a cruel laugh but one of a man who has found him in a situation that his mind interprets as absolutely absurd. ]

Oh, Chrissy. [ The words sound like his heart is breaking, and he supposes it is, in a way. Guilt, grief, joy, and love all wash over him in equal measure. Coming to this point has been so impossibly convoluted, and yet he feels so relieved that they're here now. ] We are such a mess.

[ He's still laughing in that funny, lilting way as he pulls her close, kisses her over and over again. ]

I'm so sorry it took me so long.

[His laugher winds up making her giggle in a awkward, can't believe this is actually happening sort of way. She's grateful when he admits they're a mess, because they really are. Aren't they? They could've gotten together back in high school and avoided all of this. Some things are just better when you have to wait and fight for them though.

His lips against hers, kissing her and comforting her, prove that. She softly groans against his kiss, one of her hands touching at his hair. The touch turns into an all out grip as she deepens things, until once again they're drawn into making out like a couple of horny teenagers. She stops herself before she rounds about to straddle him, laughing as she bumps her foot against his.]

I'm sorry it took us this long too.

[Because this took the both of them to make a series of events unfold that led them here.]

Jason will be pissed. But it shouldn't take me long to pack up my stuff and check into a motel.

[Because the last thing she's going to do is leave Jason and go back to her mother.]

Maybe we could meet up for dinner later tonight? There's an Italian place down the street that I've been wanting to try. It always seemed too fancy for a regular night out, but...well, today's special.

You don't have to check into a hotel. Head to the Crown Plaza, just give them my name and they'll take care of you.

[ The Crown Plaza is notably the second nicest hotel in town. He'd like to put her up where he's staying already, but that's just asking for trouble. Eddie wants to make a clean break and then get the hell out of there, and never think about that hotel room or Natalie again. ]

It's a date. Let's say 8 pm?

[ That will give him plenty of time to take care of everything. He needs to check on Wayne at the hospital, then he can break things off with Natalie, get himself cleaned up and ready for what he hopes will be the start of their new life together. They linger in bed for a while longer, making plans for today, tomorrow, for the rest of their lives. They have sex again before they both shower and get themselves ready for some difficult conversations.

Eddie drops her off a few blocks from her house, giving her money to cover cab fair and the deposit at the hotel, just in case his name isn't enough. Then he heads towards the hospital, trying to prepare himself for what will feel like a very long day. ]

[Jason is beyond furious when Chrissy finally makes her way home. The fight with him is at least quick, the breakup messy and loud. She doesn't even cry as she packs up her things in a couple of suitcases, and waits outside for the cab that she calls. The argument continues outside as Chrissy insists that things are over, but he doesn't seem very happy that she's leaving him for Eddie Munson. Thankfully he retreats when she points out his neighbors are outside and are watching, and she hopes that's the last she ever sees of Jason Carver.

The cab brings her to the Crown Plaza and she makes her way inside. Sure enough, just using Eddie's name is enough to get her a room. A...really nice room, actually. It's the penthouse suite up on the top floor, and she tells herself that even though it feels too big and lavish for her it won't be just her for long. He'll probably be coming back here with her after dinner tonight.

Still, as she settles in and unpacks some of her things, it definitely feels like he called ahead to arrange this for her. She's never seen a room this nice before, much less been allowed to stay in one. She spends the rest of her evening in the giant tub in the bathroom, soaking and relaxing before getting ready to meet him at eight.

She decides to wear a little black dress that's probably too tight and revealing, but this is a big night out and she wants to look good. Her hair is left down and curled, and she really takes her time on her makeup. It's the first time she's ever wanted to look absolutely perfect.

But maybe she shouldn't have cared that much, because when she gets to the restaurant she's escorted to a table right away. And she sits there, alone, the waiter coming to check on her frequently. Finally, after two hours, she realizes Eddie's not coming. He's stood her up. It feels too much like the night backstage, and her heart shatters all over again. This time though, it's far worse.

She's had a taste of him, she knows what being with Eddie is like. Chrissy had thought she would get to have that forever. But it was just a tease, and she wonders if maybe he had just been playing around with her. She excuses herself and hurries out of the restaurant before she breaks down crying.]

[ They depart from the trailer he once called his home, and everything takes a sharp down turn from there. Eddie shows up at the hospital and Wayne is unconscious, and the doctors are shuffle their feet and try to make the news that his uncle will soon be dead a little less awful. His heart shatters in a way that that is completely removed from his situation, as he stares down at the man that had given him a real shot at life. All the money in the world can't bring his uncle back, and now it's only a matter of time. It feels so impossibly unfair.

Then he has to return to his room at the Ritz and break things off. It should be easy, simple. Natalie is lounging on the king size bed and flipping through a magazine as though nothing is wrong in the world. As though her boyfriend isn't about to break up with her. As though his uncle isn't days away from death. To her credit, Natalie fights ferociously for their relationship. Eddie knows that her vitriol isn't because she loves him, but because she loves the lifestyle he provides. But she's so damn good at arguing, so practiced in getting the two of them to talk in endless circles. They both take swigs from a discarded whiskey bottle, and Eddie is half drunk and utterly exhausted by the time she finally packs up her things and leaves.

He doesn't even realize how late it's gotten when he stumbles into his sports car, feeling so raw and exposed. It's only when he parks sloppily near the restaurant that he realizes it's 10:22. He's not just running late. He's left her completely high and dry. Eddie stumbles out of his car and rushes the host stand, only to be told that the woman he describes has recently left in tears.

He races to the Crown Plaza, gets the room number of the woman that had checked in under his name. Eddie pounds at the door, making drunken declarations of love and apology. But no one answers. If he really wanted, he could march back down to the front desk and demand a key. He could force his way inside, the room's in his name, after all. Instead he just slides his credit card solemnly across the marbled counter, tell them to charge the room as long as Chrissy chooses to stay there. He has failed her so tremendously, he can't blame her for shutting him out now.

It's several weeks before he sees her again, and it's under the worst possible circumstances. Wayne had passed away mid week, and now the funeral is being held on a gloomy Saturday afternoon. There's a surprising turnout for his uncle, and he finds some comfort in the fact that so many people loved his uncle Wayne. Eddie looks exhausted and somber in his suit, at the head of everything whether he likes it or not. He's called to say a few words, but quickly dissolves into sobs.

Chrissy somehow seems so out of place here, even though she's dressed appropriately. As the crowd begins to disperse, Eddie is making a quick line towards her, catching her by the wrist. ]

Hey. [ The word sounds as hollow as he feels. He can't even bring himself to meet her gaze, his head hung low. ] Thanks for coming.

[She stays at the hotel because she has nowhere else to go. Just because Eddie Munson has broken her heart for a second time doesn't mean she's going to go back to Jason. At least not yet. She takes some time for herself, and uses that time spent holed up at the hotel to try and figure out how she's going to go crawling back to him. Just when she thinks she has an idea of how to get back in Jason's good graces, the worst happens.

Wayne Munson dies, and her heart breaks for Eddie instead of because of him. There's no question about whether or not she'll be at the funeral. She goes because she adored and respected Wayne. She's also there because she still loves Eddie, even if she knows that the feeling isn't mutual. Her heart splits into pieces when he breaks down during the funeral, and she almost gets up to go hug him and escort him back to sit down.

She doesn't though, letting him handle things himself. And when he approaches her she's surprised, softly gasping as he grabs hold of her wrist. He sounds so empty and broken that she doesn't try pulling away. When you love someone, you accept that they may not feel the same way. Even if it hurts. And you still are there for them when they need it. Chrissy knows right now that she needs to be here for him.]

Eddie, I wouldn't miss this. I cared about your uncle.

[She hesitates, but manages to get out through teary eyes —]

I care about you.

[ I care about you. Eddie can't determine if that's a lie or not. If that were true, wouldn't she have opened the door for him when he was all but begging on his knees for her? But then, he had hurt her so terribly, surely he hadn't deserved such affection then, or now. He still can't bring himself to look at her, stares down at his shiny black loafers and the points of her dull black heels. ]

It would have meant a lot to him.

[ His voice sounds so empty, doesn't even seem to belong to him. It's like someone elses voice speaks through him, going through the motions when he can't. He still can't bring himself to look at her, can only lift his gaze as far as her knees. There's a stink of liquor about him, though right now he is mostly sober. The crowd funnels out around them, the two of them existing as a solid point among the masses. ]

I need a smoke.

[ He lets go of her wrist so he can shuffle beneath a nearby weeping willow. Eddie lights a joint between his lips, hoping the weed will soften the ache that attacks him on every front. He doesn't look to see if Chrissy follows, but that doesn't stop him from hoping that she does. ]

[Of course she follows. It pains her to see him like this, and she's not about to leave him alone when he sounds so lost and broken. Like old times back in high school, she stands beside him and holds out her hand, waiting for him to pass off the joint to her when he's ready. She doesn't take a long hit, just enough that she can taste him when she puts it against her lips. They stand quietly like that, smoking in a depressed silence.

Eventually though, she's had her fill and she lets him finish things off. He hasn't been able to look at her yet, and she wonders if it's because he's angry with her for not letting him in that night. He had begged and she couldn't bring herself to open the door for him. Not then, not after he had hurt her so badly. But standing here now, none of that matters. She steps in close, arms wrapping around him.]

I'm so sorry, Eddie. I know you loved him more than anything.

Yeah... [ He swallows something down as he says it, though he can't name just what it is. ] I did.

[ Over the years, love had largely been non existent in his life. He might have had it with Sam, in some weak, flickering form. Never had it with Natalie, which was like buckets of ice water being poured over an open flame. And he knows he will never have it now with Chrissy, his one chance at keeping warm. Wayne is gone now, and the world seems so much dimmer for it.

He passes he joint to her, but can't bring himself to lift his gaze from the grass. Not at first, anyway, but he raises his gaze just in time to see the smoke curling around her lips. Even now, dressed in funeral garb and looking nearly as solemn as he does, she seems like a beautiful, bright spot in the world that he doesn't deserve. And then her arms are around him and he lets out a choked sob, turning to cry openly into her shoulder. It's a long while before he pulls back, his eyes red and inflamed. ]

I'm sorry. [ And without warning he cups her face in his hand and kisses her, slow and sad. It's a wonder that she doesn't push him away. ] I'm so sorry.

[Chrissy is caught off guard by the kiss, and there's a moment where she initially is tense. But she melts into it all too readily, one hand bracing itself against his shoulder as the other cups his cheek. The kiss is painfully slow, and achingly sad. It almost feels like some kind of closure, his way of saying goodbye.

When she deepens the kiss and pulls herself in more firmly against him, it's her way of saying she's not ready for the end. Not yet. They're too good together to let her broken heart be the last chapter in their story. ]

Sorry.

[Her word echoes his, an apology for kissing him like that. She's not really sorry though, doesn't regret doing it. The sad smile she wears on her face is her preparing for him to break her heart one last time. This is it, she tells herself.

He's sorry, and he's going to tell you that he's leaving her here in Hawkins so he can get back to his real life. Maybe he'll tell her she was a nice distraction. A way to connect to who he was when he was a kid. She desperately wants to cut him off before he has a chance to say anything like that.]

You don't have anything to be sorry about, Eddie.

[ Nothing has felt real, not since his uncle had left. Eddie has spent the days drifting through the world like a ghost, making arrangements and phone calls while barely registering any of the information that's been told to him. When he drinks himself to sleep, he hopes he'll open his eyes and discover this was all a nightmare, that he's nineteen again and has a chance to start over. Sometimes he hopes he won't open his eyes at all.

But she lets him kiss her, and that feels real. Not only does she let him kiss her, she kisses him back, coaxes some feeling of life to stir deep within him. Then she's apologizing too, and the smile on her face is so sad-- he realizes that this must be pity. Because unlike him, Chrissy is a good person, and even when he's hurt her she still shows him kindness. ]

Come on, we both know that's a lie.

[ He keeps her close, buries his face against the top of her head so that she can't see just how devastated he looks. Eddie doesn't want to let go of her, afraid that this time it will really be losing her forever. ]

You, um-- [ His voice is hoarse, low and pathetic. ] You want to get a coffee or something?

[It's so hard to see him like this. He's really not doing well at all. It's almost like he wants her to be upset with him, so it will make this easier on him somehow. But any lingering anger she might have felt is gone now. She just wants to be there for him, in any way he'll allow it to happen. So her arms wrap around him once again, this time tighter. Like she can have him feel how much she still loves him, just from that contact alone.]

Let's go back to my room.

[She's still staying at the hotel he put her up in, although now she's downgraded herself to a normal room because the thought of spending that much of his money on a big suite just for herself was something she couldn't stand.

Much like she can't stand to leave him hurting this badly on his own. She's fiercely determined to try and help him heal from this, even if she isn't sure how. It feels like he's closed her out since he hurt her a few weeks ago. And maybe he should, if he's trying to avoid a relationship with her. But people who are avoiding someone don't kiss them the way they just kissed her, vulnerable and raw and so earnestly sad that there's no question there's a level of trust between them.

She pulls out of the hug, and gives him one last kiss before pulling away. This one isn't sad as much as it is an invitation. Her hand takes his, and she starts to lead him toward the line of cars that have gathered. She's guessing he's probably in one of the limos.]

We can grab something on the way.

[Her smile shifts to something more warm and hopeful. There's no reason for her to weigh him down any more than he already is. Chrissy loves him, even still, and she knows it's her job to protect his heart while he's not able to do it.]

Yeah, ok.

[ It's an enormous relief that she suggests going back to her hotel. He's been staying at the trailer, and on top of the fact that the place itself is a wreck, the idea of being there now makes his skin crawl. Eddie doesn't know that he'll ever be able to go back there. For being such a small space, it feels far too large, full of things he doesn't want to think about.

Eddie grips her hand like a lifeline, moving numbly alongside her. He thinks if she were to let go, he might drift away into the gloomy sky. Would that be better? The approach the line of cars, and he nods towards a gleaming black town car towards the front. A limo had felt wrong somehow, so had showing up in his own car-- nevermind he was in no state to drive himself anywhere. The driver is finishing a cigarette as they approach, but if he finds anything strange about the fact Chrissy is with him, keeps it to himself.

Eddie mumbles the name of the hotel, asks the driver to find somewhere to stop along the way. They pull into a drive through and the driver passes back a few bags of food and the previously requested coffees. Eddie slurps some of his down quickly, not caring when it scalds his throat. He just needs some room in the cup. He reaches down towards his feet and holds a mostly untouched bottle of whiskey in his hand, tipping it into his cup. Then he sinks back into his seat and stares numbly out the window for the rest of the drive. One hand remains stretched out towards Chrissy, his fingers desperately clutching hers.

She has to lead him to her room, and he notices it's not the same door that he had begged in front of only a few weeks ago. Eddie only lets go of her hand to sit tentatively on the edge of the king sized bed, gazes at her with dulled eyes. ]

Thank you. [ It's only just louder than a whisper. He wants to say more, but he feels like it will end with more crying, and he's so tired of crying. He takes another sip of his coffee. ] For being there.

[ And for being here for him, now. ]

[She becomes increasingly more and more worried about him on the drive back to the hotel. There's an urge to take the whiskey from him and tell him it's not a good idea. He's a grown man though, and in the end, he decides what he needs. So she holds his hand and lets him do what he likes, and she leads him through the hotel to her room.

When he's situated on the edge of the bed, she reaches down to pull off her heels, tossing them into a corner of the room. She takes a second to wash off her makeup in the bathroom, before bringing a cool wet washcloth out for him. Instead of bringing it right over though, she clutches it in her hand as she watches him.]

Yeah, of course. [She accepts his gratitude, making her way over to stand in front of him. Chrissy wedges herself between his legs, getting in close enough that she can wipe at his tears and dab at his eyes with the cloth. ]

When you love someone, you're there for them.

[She's always put it in terms of caring. She cares about him, of course she does. But this is the first time love has ever been mentioned, and she tries to do it casually so maybe he won't pick up on it.]

No matter what's happened in the past.

[They can't not address what happened, even if this isn't the right time or place for it. She assumes he thinks it was a mistake, and she thinks she can learn to live with that. But she can't live with him looking at her with such empty eyes. It's like all the life and fight in him has been taken away. God, she wishes she could breathe it back into him.

A kiss is pressed to his forehead as she pulls the cloth away.]

[ Love. Had she really just said that? For a moment Eddie thinks he's heard her wrong, but she's right there in front of him, her eyes shining with concern. Eddie tries not to think about what she really means by that and leans into the cool relief of the washcloth. It's not as though grief can simply be washed away, but Eddie feels something being lifted from him as she cleans his face. ]

I fucked it all up. [ There's a temptation to blame Natalie for keeping him arguing, but that would solve nothing. He could have walked out of the room at any point, kept a better eye on the time, not have left Chrissy stranded. If he had continued to show up at Chrissy's door, would that have made a difference? Would it have shown dedication, or desperation? Eddie reaches out for her, grips gently to the fabric of her dress. ] I don't deserve you.

[ Not as a partner, not even as a friend. Like a kicked puppy, maybe. He hates just how pathetic he sounds, but he feels like he's managed to hit a new low. ]

I know it doesn't change anything but... I never meant to be late that night. Things got messy and I got caught up and all of it and-- [ He sighs, wants to look away from her but figures the least he can do is look at her when he explains what a shitbag he is. ] I've never been very good at taking care of you. You deserve so much better.

[ And he wants that for her just as badly as he wants her for himself. But maybe loving her means letting her go, a life where she never has to worry again about Eddie Munson breaking her heart. ]

[Her heart drops down to her stomach when he looks at her like that. The cloth is tossed aside, it doesn't matter where it lands. Both of her hands press firmly against his cheeks, and she trails kisses from his forehead down to his lips. Where she pours her every ounce of affection for him out into something that she hopes will give him something to hold onto. Hope. She wants to see Eddie with hope.]

The thing is, I decide what I deserve. No one else gets to decide that for me. Not anymore.

[She grew up with her mother doing it, then all her friends and Jason doing it back in school. She let her mother do it even in those first years in college, and did when she came back home too. But Jason's out of her life now, she refuses to go back home. And she's sure as hell not going to let Eddie take away her agency now that she's finally found her voice.]

You really messed up that night. [Agreeing on that much, a soft kiss is placed against his lips.] But I did too. I should've let you in instead of letting my pride get in the way.

[Another kiss, then another, and still one more yet are given to him. Each one tender and sweet, painfully gentle so they don't upset him further.]

We don't have to pay for that more than we already have though. You don't have to keep punishing yourself.

[Giving him permission to try and see how good they can be together, Chrissy kisses him one last time before she guides their foreheads to press together. Her eyes close as she sighs contently, praying that the contact is enough for him and what he needs now.]

Tell me what you need, Eddie. Let me take care of you.

[ Over the past weeks, Eddie has done nothing but punish himself. That self flagellation only intensified when Wayne passed. But her voice has power over him, takes dominion over his heart. If she thinks he doesn't need to go on punishing himself, then maybe that could be true. The idea is amplified with each kiss she presses against him, and the sweet innocence of it melts something that had been frozen inside him. ]

You-- [ The word comes out in a gasp of air, turns into a stilted laugh. ] How did I ever let you go?

[ But she's here now, and despite all odds it seems like she might still give him a chance. There's no way he's going to fuck things up this time. Eddie is looking just a bit more like himself, and while the smile he gives her is small, it's genuine. He pulls her down to him without another word, pulling both of them onto the bed. He takes the time to kick off his shoes and shrug out of his suit jacket before completely intertwining himself with her.

Every kiss and touch is slow and careful, as though worried he might wake himself up from what feels like a dream. He seems perfectly content to take things slow and easy, not yet spurred on by desperate need. Eddie even pulls back at one point, shifts down to settle his head against her chest. He takes a long, slow breath, closing his eyes to just take in the scent and feel of her. ]

Could you... just talk to me for a bit? I don't care what it's about, just something good.

[Now isn't the time for her to try to initiate anything. She follows his lead and lets him guide her to the bed. They kiss and gently touch one another, and even with as slow as it is, it's absolutely perfect. They're taking the time to really get to know and feel one another, but more than that, it's the perfect way to bond. Eddie's just lost something so important to him, he needs to know that he's not alone in the world. That no matter what, she's there.

When he rests against her chest, her arms curl protectively around him. One goes into his hair, lightly running through the strands. The other rubs small circles against his back. And she just holds him, dipping her head to kiss at the top of his hair.

If he needs her to talk, she can do that. She tells him all about her attempt at making it as a fashion designer back in New York, her favorite things she made and how she actually got a piece in a show once. That was how she got started modeling. She tells him about her favorite shows she walked in, and about some of the inside secrets she learned.

It's all superficial things, but it gives way to her talking about her hopes and her dreams for the future. She tells him about wanting to design things for him to wear on stage, and tells him she wants to see the world with him. Chrissy names off every single place she's potentially excited to see, but also makes sure to add that anywhere they go together is perfect because they'd be together.

Lastly, she lists off every possible reason she can think of as to why she loves him. None of them have to do with his fame or his money, or what he can do for her. They all have to do with how he made her feel when they were teenagers, how attractive she finds him, and how she knows they have to be soulmates.]

I guess when you find someone that your heart aches for and cries out for as much as mine does for you, you just know.

[It's sappy and maybe a little too much for him right now. But he had asked for happy. And he's her happy place. She can't help but talk about him.]

[ The sound of her voice has a profound effect on him, bringing a sense of comfort that he hasn't felt in days. He thinks he could listen to her read the dictionary and still feel this way, but hearing about her life is aeons better. In different circumstances, he might have felt regret over not being a part of that life she's lived, but when she shares it with him it feels like his history too.

The room is still and quiet besides the sound of her voice. When she talks about her dreams for the future, the way she wants him to in that future. Eddie tries to imagine just what her designs for him might look like, tries to imagine returning to Corroded Coffin at all. Everything has felt so bleak, he hasn't felt like returning to normalcy was something he was capable of.

For the most part Eddie just lets her speak, remaining quiet aside from the occasional "oh yeah?" or "no kidding". When she starts to list the things she loves about him, that puts him into a real silence. A voice rises up to berate him, remind him that he doesn't deserve her love or kindness, but it is swiftly drowned up by the sound of Chrissy. When she finishes with that last last sentence Eddie moves for the first time, raising himself up onto his elbows so he can look at her properly.

Eddie's eyes are wet with tears, but they no longer seem dead and empty. Now there's a sparkle there, a gleaming fragment of his old self. ]

You are the best thing that's ever happened to me.

[ He reaches to cup the side of his face, brush his thumb slowly over her cheek. All he wants is to look at her, remind her that she is real and against all odds, loves him. And he loves her so terribly he feels he might split in two. ]

I can't make it another day without you in it.

[She doesn't expect him to say anything. He doesn't need to respond to make her feelings true or valid. But it's nice to have him say something all the same. And when she sees the light back in his eyes, a slow and warm smile spreads out across her face. Her thumb gently presses against his chin before dropping away, and she finds herself unable to stop feeling like she might be radiating happiness.

It almost feels wrong, given what he's gone through today. She shouldn't be smiling, shouldn't be this happy. But he makes her happy. Knowing that he doesn't want to be without her makes her sublimely happy. Her head turns, pressing a kiss to the inside of his wrist. With his thumb against her cheek, it's an easy reach.

I've really missed you the past few weeks. I love you, Eddie. So much.

[Her hand reaches up to slip around to the back of his head, and she guides him down to her for a kiss so intimate and devoted that feels like it sears itself onto her soul. When he breaks away she's left speechless, looking up at him with nothing but adoration. She wants him right now, craves him desperately. But it's not the right time for that. He'll let her know when it is. She can be patient until then.]

[ It's such a strange feeling, for joy and love to be showering down on him while he is still adrift in a sea of grief. But Chrissy is like his lighthouse, promising safe harbor and better days ahead. All he wants is to fall into her and bask in the light that radiates from her. She loves him, and he lets himself believe that, any dissenting inner voices be damned. If he still feels like he might not deserve her, he resolves to change that. ]

I love you too. [ It feels so easy to say it, the words practically bursting from him like a damn breaking. It as though he's been holding those words in for years. Maybe he has. ] You are... you're like the sun.

[ And then he melts into her kiss, holds her close while his fingers run through her hair, down her back. The touches are desperate, but not in a sexual way. The intimacy he craves runs far deeper than physical, and he isn't even sure he'd be able to perform in his current state. But Chrissy seems to sense that, somehow, because of course she does. So he kisses her again, and again, until every one of his senses is properly flooded with her. ]

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